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Sunday, September 30, 2007

Girl Scouts

I am dreaming a great deal about the past this weekend.

Last night I was dreaming that my husband found my old Girl Scout handbook. I was searching for information in the handbook during the dream, and I know perfectly well what I was looking for. I wanted to read about all of the badges and how to earn them. I spent so much time as a young girl with that handbook wanting to earn badges, but I always had a hard time earning them on my own. I did better when the whole troop worked together. I didn't know how to ask for help at home and some of the badges had items on them that were just to hard for me to do on my own. Guess I didn't have much confidence or support back then.
For some reason, over the years I have wanted to look back and see what I found so challenging, but I didn't have the handbook anymore. I just have the image in my head of sitting in our living room pouring over the book and wanting to be able to do more than I could. I wanted to be like most of the girls who went up to receive just about all the badges and then proudly displayed them on their sashes for all to see. I wanted to more of a part of it, instead of feeling like I was on the side lines.
So after dreaming last night, I got on e-bay this morning and put a bid on a handbook. My first ever bid on e-bay and not what I would have expected to bid on. But since I spent most of my dream searching the handbook, I am going to pay attention to the dream and spend some time in real life reading the handbook again to see if I can put some of these old issues to rest.
See, it does not matter how old you are, or how insignificant an issue may seem, there is always something to learn and heal about our selves.
Hope I win the bid!

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