Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor - My Stroke of Insight- Talk

http//www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/229

Worth watching.

7 things

7 Things about me

1. I tape The View show every day.

2. I have 2 sons, no daughters; 2 sisters, no brothers.

3. I grew up on a farm.

4. Snapple makes a black tea that is infused with lemon juice that is my favorite hot drink for now.

5. I used to teach pre-school and it was my favorite job.

6. I have only been on a plane one time in my life, I enjoyed that flight, but haven't wanted to fly since.


7. Elevators give me anxiety and I will take the stairs if it is feasible.

You are tagged if you choose to be!

Aunt Mary

I was looking forward to getting outside to rake last week, and I finally was able to get outside in the beautiful weather. I was thinking about my Aunt Mary when I was raking up all the dead leaves that were still around from the fall. When I was growing up, my Aunt Mary lived around the corner from our house. She was the family matriarch and my dad's oldest sister. Aunt Mary and Uncle Peter were very loving relatives and took us to the beach and had many great family cook outs at their house. They even threw me a surprise birthday party one year.

I loved taking a walk through the fields and up the hill to visit them.

I would walk with my dog, Missy and when their dog Sparky saw us coming, she would run through the corn fields and meet up with us. The dogs would then chase each other through all the vegetable fields and follow me to their house.

Every night after supper she would be out there raking her yard and doing yard work. She was a fanatic about her yard. It was perfectly landscaped and she was out there to keep it so. As she worked, I would follow her around and talk to her, or read her poetry that I had written. I loved my Aunt Mary because she was one of the kindest people I had ever met, and she also she made me feel so special. She thought I was OK, just the way I was. I always enjoyed my visits with her as we would talk about family and every subject under the sun.

She lived well into her 80's before she died, and when she was in hospice my cousins asked me if I would deliver her eulogy. I was honored to be asked and spent a few days working on what I was going to say. When I was ready with it, she passed on.

This week when I was out there raking, I could actually feel her spirit around me. I pictured myself looking like she was back then with my now gray hair. It has been many years since she died but with my rake in hand, it brings back all the warm feelings of love and all the special memories.

(Road sign is on Cape Cod. We beep everytime we drive past it in her honor.)

Little joys

I went to my Feldenkrais lesson this afternoon, she said that she could see that my movements and my body positions are much better. I noticed over the weekend that I seemed to handle all the walking in Vermont much better, too. I still have pain that won't leave me because of my injury, but when I am working with my practitioner, I feel connected to my body and so flexible.

It has been worth the weekly classes and the few exercises that I need to do during the week.

I got myself outside in the yard after supper and raked and even mowed the lawn some. I realized that I spent the winter as a couch potato and just didn't have the motivation to get up and moving because I was letting the pain get the best of me and bring me down. It felt good to overcome the urge to sit in front of the TV tonight and fall asleep.

As I was outside raking, I just kept thinking about all the things I was grateful for -the yard to rake, a summer like evening, the flowers, being able to walk, the smell of the newly mowed grass, all those little joys helped me not to focus on the pain and to enjoy the now.

More photos

The Bed and Breakfast we stayed at in Vermont was called The Holly Hill Inn. It was filled to the brim with antiques. The owner has been collecting them for years. Quite a beautiful place. I especially loved the pumpkin color bedroom we stayed in and the grouping above the head board. I loved how it all fit together as I never can picture on my own what works in a grouping.

The chandelier over the bathtub was pretty cool, too.

Home again

We are back from our trip to Vermont. The weather was so beautiful, blue skies and sun all weekend.

Above is the porch from the Bed and Breakfast we stayed at and it was so nice to sit out on the porch in the beautiful weather and relax some.

Tomorrow back to the work week, and even though it is always hard to go back, I am ready.

The weather this week has been just glorious. Sunny and so warm, that I have not even needed a coat or sweater when I go out. I haven't spent too much time outside though, because I am trying so hard to get things done on the inside, and I did have to run to the office a couple of days and catch up. I managed to at the very least sit outside on the deck and read a magazine from cover to cover.

I made a meatloaf stuffed with spinach and cheese yesterday and it came out really good. I looked up a few recipes on-line, and took ideas from all of them and made it my own.

Every time I have a week off, I see it speeding by so fast even before it has begun. This week, I really tried to stay in the now and appreciate each day and not think about how quickly it was passing. It helped to make me appreciate the days more and made the week seem longer.

We are heading up to see my son at his college for the weekend. I am looking forward to spending time with him on his campus, because we don't get up there very often. Looks like the beautiful weather will keep up for the trip.

I am hoping to get some great pictures this weekend and will post when I can.

Just chilling

On vacation this week, but still had to go in for a little bit to catch up on work. I met a friend of mine for lunch at Panera Bread first though. We have been friends since middle school and believe me that is a long time! We sat for two and a half hours chatting before we parted ways and I headed off to the office.

Came home and made a chicken stir fry with fresh asparagus... mmm good... and quick!

Tonight is Idol night. I was very disappointed last week to hear that Michael John got the boot. I so enjoyed his performances. But David and David are still in the running and I hope one of them wins. I may have to start voting!

Awakening

I had some pretty intense and complicated dreams last night. So powerful that I can't even describe them. But when I awoke the very first thought that came to my mind was that I wished I could be like the woman in my dream. I just pulled the blanket over my head and felt sad for a moment.

And then I had this incredible A-HA moment when I realized that my Ego was telling me some story that was not true. I did not need to aspire to be the woman in the dream, I was already the woman in my dream, it was me. I am more of who I am than I ever let myself believe before.

That thought filled me with such joy. I got up and felt like I was "Rocky" and that I had just won the fight of my life.

Other than that, it was a fairly ordinary day.

Just hanging

Today was a busy day as my son was passing through on his way to a big weekend of concerts and stopped by with a few of his friends from college. It is always fun to have him and his cohorts around. I certainly could not let them leave without making a home cooked meal now could I? So I made my home made sauce and they had pasta and salad and garlic bread and they were thrilled about the meal. It was the first time I was meeting these particular kids and and I enjoyed getting to know them.

So most of my day was spent house cleaning, cooking and visiting with my son and friends.

Later in the evening we watched our Netflick pick for this week, Freedom Writers with Hilary Swank. I enjoyed that movie so much, it was so inspirational. When it was in the theaters in our area the local school board bought tickets and handed them out to all of the teachers to encourage them to go and see it. I thought that was such a great idea and so unusual for a school district! I wonder how much of an impact the movie made on the teachers and if they were able to become motivated to change the way they connect to the high risk students that they teach?

Pay off

It was a very busy work week. Thursday night was the big event that I had been planning at work for a couple of months. We had a New York times best selling author come and speak for Autism Awareness month. There was much excitement in our community about this event and we had a good turn out of over 200 people. Parents, grandparents, college students, educators, and adolescents on the autism spectrum.

I had to practice being "in the now" quite a bit last week. My anxiety goes up pretty high when I have to coordinate big events. Contracts, accomadations, sound equipment, lighting, tickets, publicity, parking, set up, etc. etc. etc. I usually torture myself obsessing over eveything. I was trying very hard to do what Eckhart Tolle talks about in his book, The New Earth. I would set aside a time for planning and do as much as I could. Then I would try not to think about it and stay in the now and not let negative thoughts take over. It was hard. I am always amazed by how negative my thoughts can be. I sit around and think about everything damn think that could go wrong. This time I was trying to be aware of my thoughts and tell myself that they were not helpful, and that in the present moment everything was just fine. So it was a good spiritual practice for me this week.

I purposely did not blog because I thought I would be tempted to write all about my anxiety and I didn't want to do that. I just kept working through it and when the day of the event arrived I was actually excited. Everything turned out very well and my higher ups were pleased with it all. I love the aftermath of a successful event, how everyone sits around and talks about how great it was and how it made an impact on them.

That is the pay off for all of the hard work.

Saturday

Today was a rare sunny day and it was glorious. It was the first time it felt like springtime here, and I could not wait to grab my camera and snap the crocus in the back yard.

Last night I went out to eat with my friend and we sat at Friendly's from 6:15 P.M. - 10:00 P.M. It even amazes me that we have that much to talk about. But we do!

Today was a nice quiet day. We did some chores around the house, went to Lowe's to look at carpet, hard wood flooring and paint chips. We have a lot of home improvement projects to get going on, but we left with no decisions made. It takes us forever to make decisions on house stuff, so just getting out to get ideas is a good start for us.

Later in the day, we took a drive to the beach as we often do in the good weather and then stopped off for some dinner.

We came home and the husband started watching a cowboy movie that I decided to skip and instead made some banana bread for the morning.

After I browse the blogs I am going off to read more of my book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It is so good!

Glasses, blood and embarassment

I had such a weird experience today at Linen and Things. I was browsing around the store and stopped to look at some glassware that was 60% off. Well, I didn't really need them, but it was a good deal, and I can always make use of extra glasses. So I began to take a closer look at them by opening the box and taking a couple out as there were 2 different sizes in the box.

I couldn't go wrong $7.99 for a box of 24 glasses, even though I don't have extra storage space. So I was debating if I should get them and before I knew it, oops... I dropped one of the glasses and it hit the floor and broke. I have never broken anything in a store before. As I watched the glass fall out of my hand, it was like I was watching it in slow motion and I could not believe it was going to fall and break.

The sales clerk came right over and helped me pick it up and I apologized. I said I was thinking of buying them anyways, so now I would. He was kind and went to look to see if there was an extra glass in the display case, but there wasn't. That was fine by me, after all...You break it... you buy it.... right?

Then I notice I am bleeding, so I ask for a band aide and he goes to get me one. Before I know it I am bleeding alot and it is getting on the box and on the floor. Now, I am starting to think that this is sort of embarrassing, but I didn't over react because what could I do?

So he came back with a band aide and I cleaned up the floor and the box and now there was no turning back from buying them since the box was now filled with my DNA.

I pay for them and take them to the car. When I pick up the box to put into my car, I realized the bottom of the box is not sealed and and all the glasses begin to fall out of the bottom of the box. So I put the box back down in the carriage and I slowly and carefully try to pull them out one by one. At first I thought I needed some help, or even tape, but there was no way I was going back into the store. Then I realized I had a box top in the back seat of my car, so I carefully laid them in there. When the box got empty enough, I was able to flip it over with the rest of the glasses (could have been a disaster) and put the box in the back seat.

As I was driving home I could hear the glasses clanking against each other in the box top. I was thinking that I never made a purchase that caused so many problems in my life.

When I got home I found that I had only broken one more glass. Not sure if it broke when the glasses fell out of the bottom of the box, or from clanking against one another in the box top.

Got them up to the kitchen and in the dishwasher without incident. So, I got a deal on some glasses, broke 2 of them before I got home, suffered a minor injury, and didn't curse once!

"Lost"

"Lost"
by David Wagoner

This is the poem Oprah read during the Chapter 5 webcast. David Wagoner is an award-winning poet and novelist.

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here, And you must treat it as a powerful stranger, Must ask permission to know it and be known.

The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,I have made this place around you.If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.No two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows Where you are. You must let it find you.

Idol time

I love music and enjoy watching American Idol. I do believe this season the talent has been quite extraordinary. My favorites are all male. David, David, and Michael are the ones that I enjoy the most.

I give these kids lots of credit for going after their dreams, and it appears to be a life changing experience for so many of them whether they win the whole thing or not.