Where's the Rainbow?

When I was younger my mother and my older sister loved Barbara Streisand's music and I heard it at home all of the time. It wasn't long until it became my favorite music as well. I would go into my older sister's bedroom in the afternoon and we would put on album after album and listen. We would shut off the lights and she would lie on her bed all curled up and I would be on the floor right next to the stereo to be close at hand to change the records.

Barbra's music brought me far away into a world where I was the one singing my heart out on the stage and in the limelight, because in real life, I never really had a place to shine. I loved those songs, the old ones mind you, like the very first album,  the second and then the third album and the ever popular People album. Those are the songs that take me back to my childhood and make me feel safe and even a little powerful for some reason. 

When I was diagnosed with my colon cancer (right in the middle of dealing with the breast cancer), there was one song that kept popping into my head from that era and I could not get it out of my head! 

Here are the lyrics:

                                               "Where's That Rainbow"

Troubles really are bubbles they say
And I'm bubbling over today
Spring brings roses to people you see
But it brings hay fever to me
My luck will vary surely
That's purely a curse
My luck has changed,
Yes, it's gotten from rotten to worse

Where's that rainbow they hear about?
Where's that lining they cheer about?
Where's that love nest,
Where love is king ever after?

Where's that blue room they sing about?
Where's that sunshine they fling about?
I know morning will come,
But pardon my laugher!

In each scenario
You can depend on the end
Where the lovers agree.
Where's that Lothario?
Where does he roam, with his dome
Vaselined as can be?

Oh, it is easy to see all right
Ev'rything's gonna be all right
Be just dandy for ev'rybody but me.

In each scenario
You can depend on the end
Where the lovers agree.
Where's that Lothario?
Where does he roam, with his dome
Vaselined as can be?

Oh, it is easy to see all right
Ev'rything's gonna be all right
Be just dandy for ev'rybody but me.

Oh, yeah, I see that rainbow
For everybody but me.

It was that last verse that was playing around and around in my head constantly. 

Oh, it is easy to see all right

Ev'rything's gonna be all right
Be just dandy for ev'rybody but me.
Oh, yeah, I see that rainbow
For everybody but me.

I KNEW the negativity of the song was not good for me, not a healing thought, yet I could not get the song out of my head and it was making me so stressed out as it was such a downer. Yet, it was in my head since I was a kid and not easy to erase! 

Sooooo...... I decided I had to make the song work for me since it seemed to be sticking with me. I realized all I had to do was change ONE word. Yes, ONE word changed from that last verse made all the difference in the world. 

So now that one little verse became my anthem! It uplifted me as I sang it every morning in the shower even on the most grueling days. It went like this:

Oh, it is easy to see all right
Ev'rything's gonna be all right
Be just dandy for ev'rybody AND  me.

Oh, yeah, I see that rainbow
For everybody AND me.

Turning a negative into a positive can change your whole perspective! Now I was no longer afraid of the lyrics.  

The song inspired me to keep going.

Green Light

I got the green light from the hospital and the support group is a GO! They are sending the info to the marketing department to make up the fliers. Then they plan to interview me in the patient corner of the hospital newsletter to get the word out that we are starting up the group. I am really excited about doing this and can not wait to get people together and start! 

Once I get it going and get into the flow of things, I will be taking the proposal to other places and try to build up my hours. Really, there are no jobs out there for me, so I needed to create one and I did it!!  This has been such a good experience for me in trusting my instincts and my inner voice.