Saturday, April 1, 2017

Back again

I miss my blogging friends. I have become addicted to Facebook and Twitter and it steals all of my time. The only blogs I usually read now are by bloggers who have turned their blogs into public platforms and have become their job. I miss the day to day lives of ordinary people. Although none of my blogger friends are just "ordinary"!

I have been in kind of a funk of late, not sure which direction to go, or able to make commitments to my well being stick. It makes me grumpy and restless. 

I can talk a good talk, but walking the walk? Not so good lately! 

I see a naturopath, go for Reiki, swim, and other things to stay on track. 

The writing and healing group I ran at the hospital has not been getting people interested so I have not done that for about 6 months. I miss it so and need to try to take it to another venue. 

I am 6 years out from the breast cancer and 5 from the colon cancer. It is amazing to me to think that so much time has passed. I have developed a post- cancer anxiety, a sort of post traumatic stress behavior that makes my life so complicated. I have become a germaphobe and my worry is that other people will catch a disease from me. And of course that is on top of the more normal anxiety of a cancer occurrence. There, I wrote it out. It is driving me crazy and  sometimes gets out of control. The  anxiety definitely comes out more around my grandchildren and it makes my adult children annoyed. I can't help myself.  I am working on it with my doctor and hope that in time things will calm down. But for now, my nervous system is on high alert all of the time and  it is extremely difficult to calm it down once it escalates. 

My hope is to get back to things that I enjoy doing that I have let fade away, and blogging will be one of them.  The things going on in this country right now under the current administration are getting to me as well. My addiction to the news on TV or Facebook isn't healthy or helping me feel at peace so I am working on curtailing time focused on all the negative. I realize it is important to be informed and take action and I will do so, but lessen my exposure to the  news and limit the conversations which at times gets my nervous system revved up! 

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