Pay off

It was a very busy work week. Thursday night was the big event that I had been planning at work for a couple of months. We had a New York times best selling author come and speak for Autism Awareness month. There was much excitement in our community about this event and we had a good turn out of over 200 people. Parents, grandparents, college students, educators, and adolescents on the autism spectrum.

I had to practice being "in the now" quite a bit last week. My anxiety goes up pretty high when I have to coordinate big events. Contracts, accomadations, sound equipment, lighting, tickets, publicity, parking, set up, etc. etc. etc. I usually torture myself obsessing over eveything. I was trying very hard to do what Eckhart Tolle talks about in his book, The New Earth. I would set aside a time for planning and do as much as I could. Then I would try not to think about it and stay in the now and not let negative thoughts take over. It was hard. I am always amazed by how negative my thoughts can be. I sit around and think about everything damn think that could go wrong. This time I was trying to be aware of my thoughts and tell myself that they were not helpful, and that in the present moment everything was just fine. So it was a good spiritual practice for me this week.

I purposely did not blog because I thought I would be tempted to write all about my anxiety and I didn't want to do that. I just kept working through it and when the day of the event arrived I was actually excited. Everything turned out very well and my higher ups were pleased with it all. I love the aftermath of a successful event, how everyone sits around and talks about how great it was and how it made an impact on them.

That is the pay off for all of the hard work.

500,000 Strong

500,000 people were on the Eckhart Tolle and Oprah live web cast on Monday night to discuss Tolle's book, A New Earth. Isn't that absolutely amazing? The Internet could not handle all that traffic and in my area the video/audio stalled and we were not able to view the web cast live after about 15 minutes.

Fortunately, the video was loaded on the Oprah website and we could view it the next day. I enjoyed watching it and listening to questions about the book from all the participants.

I was satisfied that in some areas my thinking from the past few years would be considered "awakened". But I know that while I am more conscious, I am not free.

Tolle talked about how hard it is once awakened to go forth and put into practice these new concepts in your day to day life around others who do not understand and may even make fun of you. Been there, done that. It was very difficult for me to put new concepts into practice and there were times, many times I am ashamed to say, that I just decided that I wanted to forget the things I learned and behave in my old ways. I kept negativity going, because everyone else was doing it. It did not serve me well. I am trying to forgive my self for that.