This and that and the sandwich generation

I had the week off from work, school vacation. It was wonderful to be home, but I really wasted my time. I didn't do much around here. I had the blahs most days. I read and puttered about some, but I could have made a good dent in some projects I need to do. I am annoyed with myself for not being motivated, but trying not to beat myself up too badly.

My mom has been having some medical issues. She has gone to 3 doctors already. They keep sending her to different specialists. I have to take her to the fourth new doctor appointment on Monday. They say her pain is a medical mystery. They did rule out all the bad things it could be, so we have had some good news during all of this. It is hard to get her to the appointments and juggle working.

I have a strong feeling she is dealing with stress. She is care taking my dad and waiting on him hand and foot. I know it gets hard for her and she doesn't complain. I was asking her about going to the Senior Center today. She has never gone and I think it would do her some good to have something to look forward to every week. My siblings and I all work full time and don't get up there as much during the week. Sundays we all visit, but the weeks are long for her.

So I went and got information for her about the programs at the local senior center and found out that there are women there that she knows. The director of the center was someone I went to high school with and I had a great visit with her. She gave me all kinds of information for services for the elderly and how she would help my mother transition in with the group, should she decide to come. My mother knew her mom years ago, so she would be a familiar contact for her. I will try to convince her on Sunday to give it a try.

My father in law, started adult day care this week. This is giving my mother in law a much needed break. He really enjoyed it and my mother law considers it life changing because she can get out of the house and get her errands done. My own dad won't consider daycare, but I keep on trying to talk to him about it.

When sat down in the senior center office with the director and started to tell her about both sides of the family and the needs of all the elders, I had to hold back bursting into tears. In that moment, the stress of it all hit me. Always something to take care of with one side of the family or the other, always worried if they are getting the right care for their multiple health issues.

I take my mom out for lunch and shopping so she can have some respite and I am calling dad on the cell phone, checking up on him. He is always worried if we stay out too long. It is hard to please everyone!

I have my son's wedding coming up in October. My biggest worry has been if my dad and father in law will be able to attend and if not, who will we get to stay with them? The director addressed that with me today, by giving me the respite information. Of course I know having services available doesn't necessarily mean that the elders will cooperate with us. Lots to think about.

I try not to worry, I have faith that things will fall into place. It is just when I think of my son's wedding I can't imagine it without all of the grandparents there to witness it.

Book recommendation

I had my nose stuck in this book all weekend; The Barn at the end of the World: The Apprenticeship of a Quaker, Buddhist Shepherd by Mary Rose O'Reilley. I enjoyed it so much because it was funny, poignant, peaceful, uplifting, and insightful. It is one of the best books I have read about spirituality, reminding me a bit of Eat, Pray, Love.

Quote from the back cover:
"This splendid book -with its improbable mix of animal husbandry, intentional community, academic life, rural experience, and Quakerish Zen-offers both wisecracking fun and wise companionship on the spiritual journey. Read it and laugh. Read it and weep. Read it and grow. This is a flat- out fabulous book. -Parker J. Palmer, author of Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation.

Happy Valentine's Day

We took a ride down to our favorite place for some lunch today. We had our usual. 1 salmon dinner and 1 scrod dinner.

After we ate, we went to take some photos at the beach. We are creatures of habit.

Winter get away

Last weekend we decided to take some time to ourselves and headed up to New Hampshire for the weekend. When we arrived in Keene, there was a winter festival going on and they were having an ice sculpture contest. I enjoyed watching the artists carve the ice and it is fun to walk around and look at all the different ones.

When we took off, we had no particular destination in mind and no reservation to stay over anywhere. Although Keene was hopping we were lucky enough to find a place with a swimming pool and wireless so I was all set.

It was a cold and windy up there and of course, and still a lot of snow piled up all over. It was just perfect to get in the pool to swim. The water temperature felt like it was around 80 degrees. It took the winter chill right out of me and soothed my soul.

We stopped at some of our favorite places in Vermont on the way up, like Basketville and The Front Porch Cafe. We visited an art museum and had dinner at a brewery that was housed in a market place with the biggest local bookstore I have ever seen. They also had a huge antique store. Books and antiques... doesn't get better than that for browsing for me.

Just taking off for an overnight felt like a mini vacation and even though I resisted taking the time off to go, I was glad we did.

Dream world

I had a dream last night that I was talking to a work colleague and she asked me if the game pieces from a board game were interchangeable with the other board games. I had no idea. I didn't think so even though I didn't know what game she was actually talking about. In my mind I saw the game pieces from Trivial Pursuit. Seemed pretty insignificant to me in the dream and the dream just continued on about work stuff. I woke up at one point and fell back to sleep.

Later, I had another dream that I was with a different group of people and a friend of mine in that dream asked me the same question. Were the game pieces interchangeable? I told her that it was odd that someone had already asked me that question earlier. So this time I asked her if she was talking about Milton Bradley games. Neither of us knew the answer in the dream, although of course in real life I know that they are not.

When I woke up this morning I immediately remembered both dreams and had a feeling that it was my sub conscious trying to help me figure out something important in my life. I know many times dreams can be so random, but other times they are filled with symbolism that can bring a great deal of insight into our lives.

So I am thinking about what the symbolism might be and what in my life is or is not interchangeable.

If anyone has any comments about the dream, I would love to hear them.