I had the week off from work, school vacation. It was wonderful to be home, but I really wasted my time. I didn't do much around here. I had the blahs most days. I read and puttered about some, but I could have made a good dent in some projects I need to do. I am annoyed with myself for not being motivated, but trying not to beat myself up too badly.
My mom has been having some medical issues. She has gone to 3 doctors already. They keep sending her to different specialists. I have to take her to the fourth new doctor appointment on Monday. They say her pain is a medical mystery. They did rule out all the bad things it could be, so we have had some good news during all of this. It is hard to get her to the appointments and juggle working.
I have a strong feeling she is dealing with stress. She is care taking my dad and waiting on him hand and foot. I know it gets hard for her and she doesn't complain. I was asking her about going to the Senior Center today. She has never gone and I think it would do her some good to have something to look forward to every week. My siblings and I all work full time and don't get up there as much during the week. Sundays we all visit, but the weeks are long for her.
So I went and got information for her about the programs at the local senior center and found out that there are women there that she knows. The director of the center was someone I went to high school with and I had a great visit with her. She gave me all kinds of information for services for the elderly and how she would help my mother transition in with the group, should she decide to come. My mother knew her mom years ago, so she would be a familiar contact for her. I will try to convince her on Sunday to give it a try.
My father in law, started adult day care this week. This is giving my mother in law a much needed break. He really enjoyed it and my mother law considers it life changing because she can get out of the house and get her errands done. My own dad won't consider daycare, but I keep on trying to talk to him about it.
When sat down in the senior center office with the director and started to tell her about both sides of the family and the needs of all the elders, I had to hold back bursting into tears. In that moment, the stress of it all hit me. Always something to take care of with one side of the family or the other, always worried if they are getting the right care for their multiple health issues.
I take my mom out for lunch and shopping so she can have some respite and I am calling dad on the cell phone, checking up on him. He is always worried if we stay out too long. It is hard to please everyone!
I have my son's wedding coming up in October. My biggest worry has been if my dad and father in law will be able to attend and if not, who will we get to stay with them? The director addressed that with me today, by giving me the respite information. Of course I know having services available doesn't necessarily mean that the elders will cooperate with us. Lots to think about.
I try not to worry, I have faith that things will fall into place. It is just when I think of my son's wedding I can't imagine it without all of the grandparents there to witness it.
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Who would have thought this would become such a common predicament? Luckily, there seem to at least be more alternatives to improve the quality of life as we live longer and longer. How great you have a center like that -- I know, however, what you mean about the elders taking part! It's still their decision. Blessings.
Oh, my, do I ever know that you are going through! And to think that I had only one oldster to cope with. No wonder you have the blahs. I would start now to look for potential sitters to stay with father/father-in-law in October. Sometimes there are folks who have retired from professional eldercare who still want occasional work. You find out about them mostly by word of mouth.
Oh my goodness. You do have so much stress. All I can do is send you a cyber hug.
So don't imagine it. EVER! Don't let the thought sneak into your head while you are waiting for the light to turn red, or for your turn with the bank teller. Every time you are participating in a task for your son's wedding picture the parents involved in the wedding and having the time of their lives.
Not to be a downer, but my sister died of cancer many years ago and her final wish was to see my brother married (remember I am an orphan and she took care of us from the time she was 18). The day of the wedding we could not even get a blood pressure reading on her it was so low, but she not only attended the wedding but was alert and participated in it. The fact that she died that evening was bitter sweet, it was time for her to be done with the suffering, but the point is people have strong constitutions and can and do do things that appear miraculous to the rest of us.
My siblings and I are in denial about my parents. No one wants to do the work, but they really can't stay at home much longer. We visit. And shake our heads.
And you have it on both sides? I'm so sorry for all involved. And glad for the services you're finding.
PS...yes I'm watching LOST. I'll be watching the latest episode tonight. Can't wait!
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