Dream of lost friendship

Last night I had a dream that was filled with love, relief and anger. Still don't know how I feel about it. The dream centered around an old friend, whom I considered my best friend in high school and for years after that. It is a long story... but presently we haven't been friends for many years, even though I tried to re-connect to her a few times. Her life was just falling apart and she pushed people away from her, so I know not to take it personally, yet she pushed in very personal ways and it was very hurtful.

So last night I dreamed that she was back in town and coming over and spending a great deal of time at my house. It got to the point that I felt used. In the dream I remember thinking: " you stopped contact all of those years, but now you are here and expect me to cater to you and you are overstaying your welcome." I was afraid to vocalize that to her because I was afraid she would leave in anger and cut me off again.

There was a piece of the dream where I had a little daughter and her oldest daughter loved her and I loved seeing them together and I was so happy to have them connecting. It was such a mix of strong feelings that I could not find a balance. In a way it was everything I ever dreamed of in real life, that our friendship would be healed.. but at what cost to me if I am feeling used and put upon?

Well, it was a dream and I didn't have to find the balance in it, but when I woke up I knew that finding that balance in relationships in my real life has always been hard. Setting boundaries isn't always easy. When I think back to this friendship, I didn't set the boundaries very well. That was years ago....but I still need some more work in my life with boundaries. So the dream sent me a message and I realize I still struggle with these issues and will try to work on them.