Busy weekend

April is autism awareness month and with that comes the state wide yearly conference. I always go as an exhibitor with information about our schools to talk to parents about options if their children are not getting their needs met in their local schools. It is always enjoyable to get out and meet with parents and other professionals and talk about what we do and how we can help.

Dr. Temple Grandin was one of the guest speakers this year. She is considered one of the most famous people with Autism. Although she holds a PhD in animal science and is a professor at Colorado University, she is a prominent author and speaker on the topic of Autism. She is living proof that children born with Autism can lead a productive and successful life. She is the inventor of the "squeezing machine" developed because she realized she needed deep pressure to help her deal with sensory issues related to autism.

Recently, Claire Danes played her in the HBO movie bearing her name. I haven't seen it yet, but I heard it was fantastic and I have it on my Netflix list as it will be released in Aug. 2010.

I have read her books, the most well known,"Thinking in Pictures," and also read her mother's book, "A Thorn in my Pocket." Temple's mother, Eustcia Cutler literally saved her daughter's life with early interventions, in a time when most children diagnosed with autism were sent to institutions. Both books are great reads.

So yesterday was the first time I had the opportunity to hear Temple speak. She was wonderful and she offered so many important strategies that will help children and adults with autism in the public schools and at home. We are lucky where I work we have a small class sizes and have been instituting many of the things Temple was recommending, but in the mainstream there is much work needed to be done! And children are staying more in the mainstream because of this horrible economy!

Getting up on a Saturday for work ain't easy, but once at the conference the day flew by and I experienced the usual conference high that I get when I spend the day talking to the public and also getting lots of good feedback about the work we are doing at our school.

For more information about Temple Grandin, here is the link:
www.templegrandin.com

Another Saturday Night

A lazy kind of Saturday, which is very rare. Since the housework was all caught up on we took off this afternoon for a ride to the CT river valley. The husband stopped every so often to take photographs while I sat in the car reading my book.

I am reading The Vortex, Where The Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This is the book that my Feldenkrais practitioner brought in for me to read to help me better understand the Law of Attraction.

One quote that stuck with me from the reading so far is this: You get to where you want to be from where ever you are-but you must stop spending so much time noticing and talking about what you do not like about where you are...Look forward to where you want to be, and spend no time complaining about where you are.

I admit that I am a complainer and I think my practitioner was tired of hearing me complain about what I didn't want in my life and have no clue about what I do want. I am still working on that one. What do I want? I am working on my list.

We came home to watch a movie. I thought I would blog and watch the movie, but the movie is in subtitles so I have missed most of it. It is difficult to blog and read text on TV. The movie is called Cine Paradiso. I think I will try to catch up with it if it is not too late!

Friday update

Vacation week comes to an end today. I can never believe how fast a whole week goes by when I am not going to work. I love being home and I caught up on so many thing. I cleaned, organized, shopped, and caught up on reading, etc. I enjoyed crossing off all the stuff I put on my to do list. I feel like I have woken up from a long sleep. Winter just does me in, I am someone that needs the sun and good weather.

A friend of mine is starting a non-profit organization and has asked me to be on the board. She is just amazing to me because she is a widow now and is struggling to stay afloat, yet she wants to help other women. She is an example of following your heart to do what she believes she is meant to do and not worrying about any roadblocks. She is an inspiration to me and I will do anything I can to help her achieve this goal.

I think it will be a very interesting and eye opening experience to be involved with this project. I have no experience in getting an organization up off of the ground, but I am looking forward to learning!

Change your mind and change your life

This past week was a good week.

Recently I watched the movie, "You Can Heal Your Life", by Louise Hays. The movie started out by following a woman going through the regular routine of her day and all the thoughts that were going through her head as she was walking down the street, driving the car, doing all the regular things we all do every day. But if you listen closely, most of the thoughts in her head were all negative. Louise talks about how those negative thoughts impact our lives and bring us negative experiences. The video went on to talk about using more positive affirmations in our day to day lives to see how they could transform us. While many inspirational speakers say the exact same thing and I have no doubts that they are right, I found that I don't ever practice saying positive affirmations on a regular basis.

I had the audacity to think that I wasn't a negative person and that I didn't need to do so. Well, since I have been going for my Feldenkrais sessions, I have become friendly with my practitioner who is someone who truly practices the law of attraction. She has been calling me on a great deal of my negative thoughts and attitudes. I have felt pretty lucky that she has been willing to take the risk with me and is so direct. It has opened up my eyes to how much I needed to work on.

So after watching the video I decided to start using affirmations on a daily basis. I picked one that Louise talked about in the video; "Today is going to be the best day of my life." I have been saying it every day and while I haven't won the lottery, (lol) my days are going much more smoothly than ever.

I was at a meeting with the higher ups at work this week. I had been nervous about this meeting since I heard we were having it.

There was a great deal of talk at the meeting about people who were not on board with all the changes going on. They were talking about the workplace situation in terms of "old blood" needing to go and "new blood" needed. So when it came around for me to speak, I said that I realized I was "old blood", but I was willing to have a "blood transfusion." Everyone laughed(as I hoped they would) and I was told that I was one employee who had risen to the occasion and they were pleased with how I handled the changes in my position.

The next day after the meeting, I noticed my knee sure felt much better than it has in years. Years! I couldn't believe it. It hurt slightly, not the pain I usually feel. I walked into my Feldenkrais session and told her how it felt so much better. When I got on the table, my practitioner said that my legs looked longer than usual and that my muscles were relaxed and my legs not resisting the movements like they usually do. She said when I walked in I sounded happy. She believes when people are happy and relaxed that it completely changes what the body is capable of. So I told her about how well my meeting went the day before and how my life and job were going in general and she was not surprised that I was feeling better physically.

So one part of my life is settling down. I needed that and I am grateful.

Easter weekend

I am so thankful for the sunny weather we have been blessed with this weekend. I was able to get outside on Friday and do some yard work. While I am sure many people got outside this weekend, for me it felt like a major victory to get myself up off my bed and put one foot in front of the other and walk out the front door.

I haven't felt motivated since my dad died to do much. I have barely cleaned my house. So when my feet hit that drive way and I felt the sun on my face, I just immediately put my arms up stretching towards the sun and a wonderful feeling came over me. In a second I was transformed, I felt like I was walking on stage like Kathy Griffin, head turning side to side flashing a big smile; except my audience was the big old empty sky. It was such a good feeling that I am going to remember to do it every once in a while because I found that I was able to lift myself up. Lift myself up. I have been so down.

The changes at my job have only added to my distress. My responsibilities have changed and I am also grieving the loss of the duties that I held for the past decade. It has been hard, but I have been moving forward with no complaining and just getting the work done.

One day I felt like I was having the beginnings of a panic attack, except that it lasted all day long. My guess was that it was all stress related, but it was most annoying. I just kept on doing what needed to be done and met my friend for dinner as I had planned. As we were ordering dinner, I told her about my day. As we were talking and I was trying to put into words how I had been feeling lately about the changes on the job and dealing with my grief in my personal life. I told her that I felt like I had the rug pulled out from under me in two major areas of my life. My friend nodded along with agreement and as soon as I got the words out of my mouth, I calmed down. I felt my chest just relax and I felt normal again. There, I said it out loud and it made all of the difference.

I have had a couple of dreams about driving my car over snow and ice and I know those are symbols of frozen emotions. I am working through my grief as best as I can, but I know I haven't had any break through moments yet. Slowly, I feel like I am climbing out of myself, but I know I have a long way to go.

Easter was nice. We were able to go to VT with my mom and my sister. My mom hasn't gone any where out of state over night in years as she was always taking care of dad. So we tried to make a new tradition and it worked out really well.

Over the weekend my mom shared with us that she has decided that she wants to move from her house where she lived with my dad for 60 years and move into a complex for seniors. She is lonely and overwhelmed with the responsibility of the house. I am finding this a very difficult thing to hear. I understand her need to go where she will be less lonely, and I know the house is a money pit and way too big for her now. I admire that she is feeling ready to move on so quickly, and I know it will not be easy for her to do so. They built that house soon after they were married.

So yet another change is coming up and I am feeling so sad about it.

Happy Easter to all !