Christmas is this week, and I am so not ready. I thought I had more spirit in me this year, but I was so caught up with other concerns that I let the time get away from me.
We were all involved with renovating my parents' house and hoping to move as soon as possible. In my head I was visualizing being in by Christmas. I had the mantel all decorated in my head and the house was coming along nicely. More than nice, the rooms we re-did were beautiful. Yet, everyday I was waking up with a stomach ache, there was something deep inside of me that was not happy about the move. While I believed I would enjoy living in the house, I knew in my gut that I was not really wanting to pick up my life and move, not at this point in time anyways. My husband wanted the move, my son was going to buy our house, and all of my family was happy that the house would stay in the family. How could I back out now?
So I carried on for weeks waking up feeling sick, wishing I could get out of the situation, and yet trying to talk myself into it. Don't get me wrong, there were many pros to the move, but the cons were nagging at me and I could not make peace with them.
Then there was a twist of fate, there were some snags and it looked like my son would not be buying our house. I should have been disappointed, but to my surprise I was relieved. Since plan A was not going to happen, all of my family expected us to go to plan B as we discussed. That would entail us putting our home on the market and then moving forward with the purchase of the other house.
My husband and I went through a week of soul searching, and it was not easy. There was a part of me that was having difficulty letting go of the house, but on the other hand, how could I move forward when I had all of these nagging doubts? I needed to feel 100% good about the move, and I didn't. My husband started to have his doubts, too. We moved too fast and maybe for the wrong reasons.
Last Sunday we had a sit down with our family and broke them the news that we would not be buying the house and we thought it best if it goes on the market. I was so nervous about talking to them, but they were wonderful. No one wanted us to make a move if we were not going to be happy doing so.
So this week, I have been feeling relieved and happy that I am not moving. No more waking up with a stomachache about the situation. When I visit the house and check on the renovations, I am sad that we won't be the ones enjoying the house, but yet I know it my heart that I am making the right decision.
We were all involved with renovating my parents' house and hoping to move as soon as possible. In my head I was visualizing being in by Christmas. I had the mantel all decorated in my head and the house was coming along nicely. More than nice, the rooms we re-did were beautiful. Yet, everyday I was waking up with a stomach ache, there was something deep inside of me that was not happy about the move. While I believed I would enjoy living in the house, I knew in my gut that I was not really wanting to pick up my life and move, not at this point in time anyways. My husband wanted the move, my son was going to buy our house, and all of my family was happy that the house would stay in the family. How could I back out now?
So I carried on for weeks waking up feeling sick, wishing I could get out of the situation, and yet trying to talk myself into it. Don't get me wrong, there were many pros to the move, but the cons were nagging at me and I could not make peace with them.
Then there was a twist of fate, there were some snags and it looked like my son would not be buying our house. I should have been disappointed, but to my surprise I was relieved. Since plan A was not going to happen, all of my family expected us to go to plan B as we discussed. That would entail us putting our home on the market and then moving forward with the purchase of the other house.
My husband and I went through a week of soul searching, and it was not easy. There was a part of me that was having difficulty letting go of the house, but on the other hand, how could I move forward when I had all of these nagging doubts? I needed to feel 100% good about the move, and I didn't. My husband started to have his doubts, too. We moved too fast and maybe for the wrong reasons.
Last Sunday we had a sit down with our family and broke them the news that we would not be buying the house and we thought it best if it goes on the market. I was so nervous about talking to them, but they were wonderful. No one wanted us to make a move if we were not going to be happy doing so.
So this week, I have been feeling relieved and happy that I am not moving. No more waking up with a stomachache about the situation. When I visit the house and check on the renovations, I am sad that we won't be the ones enjoying the house, but yet I know it my heart that I am making the right decision.
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2 comments:
It took courage to face this dilemma and not sweep it under the rug trying to keep everyone else happy. As it turned out, they supported your decision. So now you can really celebrate Christmas. Have a Merry one.
Wow! That decision did take a lot of courage. Amazing how some wouldn't have been able to follow their gut, but you did! Good for you!
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