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Friday, December 31, 2010

Good-bye 2010

Next year will bring whatever next year brings, but what you bring TO it will make all the difference. Marianne Williamson

Another New Year's Eve. We are staying in tonight after a taking a ride down to the shoreline this afternoon and then stopping for lunch at our favorite seafood place. We do that often. We stop by our favorite beach and take more photos and I wonder how many pictures of the same beach we can possibly take. But we do. Something about the sea and the sand that brings a peacefully feeling to our day.

I think about 2010 as I am reading blogs by people who are reflecting on their life from this year. The things they have done and the places they have been. I can't think of any stand out experiences from this particular year. Nothing big to cross of my bucket list. Some little things,which I guess is better than nothing at all. Needless to say, there are many things which I am grateful for and I try to count my blessings often.

I am standing in the shadows of my husband lately, as he pursues his art and his own radio show. Retirement sure agrees with him and although I am proud of his achievements, I think I am feeling a bit envious and wanting something special for myself. I keep thinking it is right around the bend, but maybe I am waiting to run into it instead of going after it.

I don't make New Year's Resolutions, mainly because I know damn well I won't keep them. Hardly anyone does. I have been trying lately to change my thinking and become more mindful of the negative messages I tell myself. I listen to positive affirmations CD's in my car and I am stunned by how negative the tapes in my head are. Why did it take so many years to become aware?

But aware I have become and I do find it fascinating in a strange way to be examining my thinking and to believe that if I can change how I think I can change my life.

2011- I am waiting for you.

5 comments:

KathyA said...

So many times as women -- wives and mothers, we sublimate our needs for those around us. They move on with their new lives and we then are forced to redefine our own. You're in the re-defining stage and what a wonderfully fertile place that is! You'll find your path.

Forsythia said...

Looking forward to reading your blog in 2011. I envy your being that close to the ocean. It's about 3 hours away for us. I was born in northwestern PA. The first time I saw the ocean, at age 22, I didn't like the way it smelled. Now the ocean is part of my worldscape and I miss it if I am away from it for too long.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Hi Lena! I was delighted to see you popping up on my blog. I remembered your name from before and I'm glad you've come back to visit. I plan to blog regularly this year. Its a great outlet for me.

Last fall we spent a few days at Port Aransas, Texas and just as you say, I found our time alone on the beach to be incredibly peaceful. We too took picture after picture trying to capture that serenity to bring home with us. Sunsets and a full moon were the absolute best!

I am also a master of negative thinking and being too critical of myself and others. I think I'll work harder on that this year too!

I've added your to my reader list and I'll be stopping by to read more, thanks for sharing! :-)

Lena said...

Forsythia,

I thought it was so interesting and funny in a way that when u first visited the ocean you thought it smelled bad!

Glad you are in a place where you get to enjoy the beach now.

Since I grew up going to the ocean since I was a baby, I never really noticed the smell as being bad, just something that told me were at the beach and let the fun begin. LoL

Cheryl said...

"...if I change how I think I can change my life". That's SO true. It's the changing how one thinks that's so hard. Sounds like you're on the right path.

How wonderful to be near the water. It was so nice to hear your voice in your video.