The other day I was hanging around the house and I needed to run an errand. I got into my car and was about to pull out of the driveway and I realized, no wig or hat on my head. There I was ready to take off and go with my bald head. I didn't feel like going back into the house to get a hat, and considered just taking off like that. But I have this issue that my bald head might make other people uncomfortable. So I searched the car and found I had a hat stashed in there and I thew it on, relieved I didn't have to run back into the house.
I have decided that for the most part I can go driving around town bald headed in my car, but if I need to go into a store I will put on a hat. I don't like having to hide my head, but I know people will just stare at me if I were to walk around completely bald and I will feel self conscious. As it is, when I have a hat on, I get looks. It is obvious here is no hair under there.
So I wasn't too surprised last night when I had a dream that I had lunch with a friend and then went on a job interview and in the middle of the interview I realized I was bald headed. In the dream, I was in a panic when I realized I forgot my wig. I woke up. I remembered how comfortable I felt in real life when I walked out the door with nothing on my head and sort of wondered why this made its' way into my dream. Did I need to remind myself not to get too comfortable because I could make big faux pas?
I want to be braver. I want to be like Demi Moore on the red carpet with her completely bald head when she was in the G. I. Jane movie. Of course I am no Demi Moore, I am not on the red carpet promoting a movie.
But I will continue to push the envelope a little bit in little ways when I can.
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5 comments:
Lena~I would think that most women would love to rock that look in summer, whether they admit it or not. It must be so freeing not to worry about washing, drying, setting, brushing..oy..what a joy to just get up & go. I say embrace it. I remember a bald Melissa Etheridge singing Piece Of My Heart on some show right after chemo & how everyone cheered & cheered. You're never gonna have this chance again so R.O.C.K.-I.T.
O.U.T.
P.S. We had great seats for Linda. We've been seeing her for ages now & usually get to say hi before or after the show. She's a doll. So down to earth & her voice is unreal. I'd love to send your mom some pictures.
I would like to think I would have the nerve, but probably not. It's too bad that bald women are generally unacceptable, because regardless of how awful I look that way, I would probably do it. I resent the time and money and plain old irritation that hair causes me.
However, I understand your attitude regarding the subject. You have not had a choice in the matter, and it seems to me that you have awesomely beautiful hair in the first place...a pic I saw somewhere?
How long until you can have your hair back again, do you have any idea at this point? If you can, I say go for it like Maria --- you will only have this opportunity once. And honestly, let people stare, that is just plain rude in the first place.
Hugs friend. :)
I cherish the humorous Christmas letter my sister-in-law wrote seven years ago after finishing her chemo/radiation. She said Stan had shaved his head to show his solidarity with her and that they were having a hair growing contest. She invited the rest of us to join them.
I imagine that men who shave their heads feel very liberated. I've felt like shaving mine during this heat wave! It seems like you've learned a lot and grown in many ways since being diagnosed. You are one strong woman!
And so people stare. What will they see? A brave woman who is deeply well.
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