Update

Time goes so quickly and all of a sudden summer is just about over. School is starting this week in our town and soon the buses will be on the roads and the kids will be heading to back!

I am still on short term disability and not going to work. I am liking being home and being away from the stress of the office. I am doing a good deal of reading while home and trying to sit outside on the nice cooler days.

I am still missing so many days when I am dealing with side effects of the chemo and find myself just lay around on the couch waiting for the minutes and hours to pass. So when I feel good, I want to be up and around and outside as much as possible and just enjoy living!

Other than reading and trying to do some things around the house when I have good energy days, that is my life right now!

I have 4 more treatments to do and should be done by the middle of October!

Evie

When I was in the hospital I had a nurse's aide named Evie. She has been working at the hospital for 40 years. She was only a couple of years older than me, so she must have started working there when she was young.

Evie was a wonderful aide, even though she has been working there for so long, she was not burned out at all. She was loving and caring and made me feel so special. She took care of me like I was one of her relatives, not just a stranger/patient on her watch.

I know my story touched the staff with the 2 cancers to beat, then the gall bladder incident, and I sure looked like hell when I got there, all yellow. And it was my birthday and we had to cancel our vacation. I garnered lots of sympathy from everyone, but I sure didn't want anyone to pity me and I was in pretty good spirits while I was there. Everyone of the staff was great to me, but there was something special about Evie.

The day after my surgery things turned scary. My counts were way down and the doctors were very concerned that an infection was brewing. They ordered per-cautionary tests and I needed to have a blood transfusion.

After the doctors were done swarming all over me and scaring me ( I had 4 different departments on my case!) Evie came in. She had cleared her schedule to be with me. Even though I had been doing my self care on my own,she thought I needed a bit of TLC and came in and helped me freshen up and spent time with me because she knew it was going to be a hard couple of days for me and she didn't want me to be alone.

She would often come in my room and tell me that I was sweet and she loved me and wanted me to get well. It made me feel so cared for and I enjoyed her visits.

She bended over backwards for me, always double checking IV's and even the blood for the transfusions even though that was not her job. She would walk into my room and always adjust the temperature if she thought it needed it, I never had to ask.

When I had company she always offered them refreshments. She was one of a kind and I so enjoyed having her for an aide.

She said the hardest thing about her job was that people leave and she never finds out what happened to them. She had me promise to visit.

I visited her last week one day after chemo. It was great to see her and we hugged and hugged.

When the hospital called me for follow up after I got home they asked me lots of questions about the care I received and I made sure to mention Evie. The woman on the phone told me that Evie was "one of a kind" and always got great feedback from patients.

It is nice when you run into a real life angel, just when you need one!

Hello again

I have been mostly resting since I came home from the hospital at the beginning of July. I decided to apply for short term disability and not go back to work until my chemo is all done in October. The gall bladder surgery threw me for a loop and I had no energy to even think about going back to work.It has been a good decision and one I wish I had made earlier.

I recovered enough from the gall bladder surgery to resume chemo at the end of July. The round went very well. I think the gall bladder issue was brewing and it made my side effects from the chemo worse. I am on round # 7 this week (5 more to go) and I hope I can get through it as well as last time around.

In between the chemo weeks, I had to go back to the hospital last Thursday for an out- patient procedure to get my stent and gall stone taken out. I had the procedure the end of June and they could not get the stone out, so back I went.

They had a hard time getting it out again so this time they had to cut into my bile duct to push it out into my intestines and then it will come out with body waste. I was relieved they were able to get it out as I was a little nervous that they would not be able to and I would have to go through this again!

So that is one thing behind me! I am still in pain from the gall bladder surgery. They used the same incision that they used for my colon surgery in March and it was still a bit tender before the surgery, so I am thinking that is why I am still feeling sore.

People tell me I look great for all I have been through and for the most part, I feel like my old self.

Some happy news in our family is that our youngest son became engaged a couple of weeks ago and now we are looking forward to planning a wedding! We are all so excited! No exact date yet, but one will be forthcoming soon. I love having something to look forward to and get excited about!

They call me Mellow Yellow

This is still all unbelievable to me, but last week I ended up in the hospital. I was not rebounding after the last chemo but couldn't quite put symptoms together. By Thursday my skin was yellow and other symptoms full blown.

I ended up having a gall stone blocking my liver and gall bladder and on Friday needed to have a procedure done to remove the gall stone. The stone was too big and they could not get it out so they had to put in a stent so the bile could pass. And then they decided I needed to have my gall bladder out to prevent anymore gall stones.

Surgery was scheduled for Monday, July 2. My birthday was Sunday, July 1 and I had to spend it in the hospital on clear liquids. :-( My family all came and made the day really great though!

Complications hit after surgery. My blood counts dropped very low and I needed to have a blood transfusion.

There was lots of drama and I am too tired to try to write it all out, but bottom line, I came home today. I still have to go back to have the stent taken out in a couple of weeks.

This has really been a difficult week, but I am doing what I always do.... I follow directions, advocate for myself when I need to, and stay as upbeat as I can.

Gall bladder surgery is usually an easy surgery and most people do well. But having a gallbladder attack during the middle of a chemo cycle brings it to a whole other level.

I will write more when I am feeling better!

Some inspiration

I am hanging in there. Tomorrow I will be done with round#5! I am mostly just exhausted.

On Sunday I had my sons and their partners over for father's day for a barbecue and I made all of the food! Later in the day I had the rest of the family over for cake to celebrate my daughter in law's graduation for her masters degree. It was great to have my whole family over and have all that laughter and energy in the house. I over did it and was exhausted, but it felt good to me to be productive and to bring everyone together!

I thought I would post some pictures today from around my house of things that inspire me!

My hydrangea bush makes me happy!



Love our veggie gardens can't wait!


A favorite painting by my husband and garden flowers.


My sister gave me this orchid when I had my surgery in March and it is still going strong!

The God moments

This is a story that I want to remember from the day I had my surgery for the colon cancer. 

I woke up after the surgery in the recovery room and  I felt pretty good actually. I could not see much that was going on in the room, but I could hear the nurse talking to the woman in the bed next to me. The woman was complaining about wanting to get up to her room and the nurse was telling her that her blood pressure was not stabilized so they had to keep her there. 

The nurse came over to me and said that I was on auto pilot. I didn't really know what she meant, but I thought it was a good sign. She said she would be getting my family. And then my husband and my older son appeared at the end of the bed. I was so happy to see them. I took my arm from under the covers and put it up in the air and said to them, "I made it!" I was never so happy to see them as I was in that moment. I knew I had a long way to go to recover, but just seeing them gave me so much strength to carry on. 

The nurse told me that I was ready to leave recovery, but there was not a room available upstairs and I would have to wait a while so they would be bringing me to a holding room. I clearly remember my son and husband stepping out of the way as the nurses rolled my bed down the hall into a dark quiet room. My family followed me in. I was talking to my husband and asking him who he had called and we made chit chat, turned on the TV and waited in the dark small room for them to come and get me. 

Later in the afternoon, we all went up to the Pavilion and I got settled in my private room. All during my stay at the hospital I often thought about seeing my husband and son in the recovery room as it was an image that was comforting to me and made me smile. 

About one week later after I was back at home I asked my husband what it was like in the recovery room. How many people were in there as I could not see?  He told me it was just me. I said," no there was that lady next to me and then there was a wall, were there people on the other side?" He said, "No, You were the only one in the room." 

What the heck was he talking about? "Wait a minute," I said. "I know there was at least the one lady who was complaining and who was on the other side of me?" He stuck to his story. He kept telling me I was the only patient in the room. I did not understand!  So I said, well we were in two rooms. The recovery room with the bright lights and then the small dark holding room.  I am talking about about the recovery room. He said that they never were in the recovery room, he thought I was talking about the holding room! He said the small dark room with the TV was the first time they saw me!

I was FLABBERGASTED! So then I explained to him how I saw them in the recovery room standing at the end of my bed as clear as day it was were I greeted them. He swore they were not in there.  I knew he wasn't lying, but I still had to call my son first thing in the morning and ask him. 

No, they were not physically in the recovery room with me, but I saw them  there and spoke to them as clear as day and that is my story and I am sticking to it! 

Holy Water 

After I found out that the colon cancer spread I started to visualize myself diving into a pool of holy water. I went right to my Catholic upbringing for some comfort thinking that I needed more than a cross of holy water on my forehead to heal a second cancer. Off and on during the day, I would think about diving in and becoming healed. 

A couple of weeks later I went to my father's birthday mass the week after Easter. At one point the priest was walking down the aisle throwing Holy Water. Although I was on the far end, some of the water got me on my forehead. I thought, "Gee what were the chances of that happening when I was so far away/" Then I realized a lay minister was walking on my side now with the Holy Water and she got my back all wet. I felt that water hit me and immediately remembered how I had been visualizing diving into the Holy Water. I knew this was a close as I would get to diving in. I loved every second of that feeling.

This and that

I had a great weekend planned again. Friday night my husband had an art opening in a new funky coffee house. There was a  ribbon cutting, entertainment, and the showing of my husband's seascapes. We had a  nice time. It is always interesting to watch the women come up to my husband and get all giddy, "Oh, are you the artist?" It is a new thing to have him getting this kind of attention, but I am getting used to it. And he has his own radio show now as well and is getting friendly with some well known recording artists. That has been fun.

On Saturday I went to a bridal shower that I didn't think I would be able to go to originally because it should have been a treatment week. I had a really nice time with my friends

Sunday I was planning to go the Butterfly Museum up in MA. They have butterflies of all kinds flying around in an indoor conservatory. I haven't been there for a long time and I was so looking forward to it. And I wanted to put up some nice pictures to liven up this blog! But of all things, I pulled a muscle and was in so much pain on Sunday and I could not go. I was so mad. It was the day before round#4 of my chemo and I wanted to have fun. Instead I was stuck in the  house all day. 

Fortunately, my back was better today, so I had my treatment. It is rainy and cool today and when I walked out into the parking lot, my hands started immediately reacting to the cool weather. My lips started to burn and I had trouble with my voice. All from the cold air. It was only in the 60's today! I started to panic a little on the drive home when I started to have trouble speaking, but I worked on calming myself down and I called the oncology department to check in with them as soon as I got home.  By the time they called back, I was better but she told me it was the cold air and to stay warm. 

So I am very grateful I am going through this treatment during the spring and summer and should be done by sometime in the fall. Finding a blessing in a bad situation is helpful! 

I had some good news on Friday.  I had to go for a procedure and it was thought I would be needing surgery. During the procedure my surgeon said there was nothing bad she saw, nothing that required surgery, just an irritation like a rug burn and it should heal on it's own. YES! Best news I heard in a long time!

I thank you all who are hanging in with me. I really have come to love you all and  I have a hope that someday I can meet some of you in person.