Back story

Tomorrow is my 33 wedding anniversary.

Our wedding day in itself was a strange day, but it didn't feel strange to me until a few days later. You see my uncle (he was also my Godfather) died during the night before my wedding. He had been having some health issues, but as far as we knew it was nothing serious. But that night he went to bed and died of a heart attack.

The next day we were called by another family member and told that my uncle had suffered a mild heart attack and that he was in the hospital and stable. While we were all concerned about him, we were told not to worry and just have a good day because things were under control.

So I did what any bride would do on her wedding day. I set out to have a wonderful day. I was so happy that morning. I played all of my favorite music on the stereo and sang my heart out while I was getting ready. My mother could not believe that I was not nervous, but I wasn't one bit nervous. I was just filled with love, happiness, and confidence.

I didn't pay attention during the day to how emotional people were. So many of my relatives were crying. I thought they must have been touched by the vows we wrote, I couldn't imagine why else there were so many tears. As the day wore on, people were huddled together talking in low voices and when ever I walked over they stopped talking and put on a happy face. These were moments that I took pictures of in my mind, but they didn't develop until a couple of days later.

After the wedding everyone went to my parents' house for the after party and I remember different people coming over to me trying to hurry us off. We were only going away for the week-end. We didn't have time for a honeymoon, as we were moving up to Ithaca, NY where my husband was scheduled to take some summer classes.

So we finally headed out earlier than we planned and had our special weekend together.

I found out later that as soon as we left, my mother's brother took my parents into the bedroom and broke the news to them that Harry had died the night before, and it was my aunt's request not to spoil my wedding day, so they didn't tell us what really happened. After my parents and the other guests digested the what had happened the after party broke up and my parents and the rest of my family members rushed to be with my aunt.

Two days later my husband and I arrived back home, I come through the door and the first question I asked my mother was, "How is Uncle Harry doing?" That is when she told us what really happened. It was such a shock to me. I went into my bedroom and saw my wedding dress hanging on the door and I wanted to throw up. I felt like I had been so incredibly selfish, that everyone had been at my wedding and my poor aunt was without all of us to comfort her.

During the wedding reception one of the guests called home to check on her baby and found out that my uncle's obituary was in the newspaper that morning. So that is all it took. One person found out and the word spread and those were the huddles that I saw, but I didn't know what was going on. I was in my own world that day, understandably.

It took a long time for me to realize what a gift my aunt had given me, she loved me and wanted me to have my wedding day. So thoughtful and giving even in her time of grief.

There is one more part to this story. On that same day we had another couple who couldn't be at our wedding because the wife was in labor. A baby boy was born on our wedding day was well.

A birth, a wedding, and a death all on my wedding day. The whole cycle of life.