At the wake it was interesting how many people came up to me and offered condolences and then mentioned how difficult it must be to be dealing with dad's death so close to Christmas. Well, truth be told, with what we had going on since November 1, I never really thought about Christmas. It was not my priority. When I heard the Carols on the radio as I drove back and forth to the hospital, I just turned them off. I was focused on taking care of dad and Christmas would just have to go on the back burner. My husband put up the tree on his own and did most of the shopping, because he was home during the day. Most evenings we were at the hospital with hopes dad would be out by Christmas.
All of my life we have spent Christmas Eve with all of my aunts and uncles and cousins on my mom's side. It was a big Italian Christmas Eve with all of the fishes and Italian delights. As the family grew, it was harder to find a house that would fit over 50 of us, but fortunately there were some relatives with big houses who took turns hosting. My uncle kept the tradition going. But he passed away in April and this Christmas his family did not feel up to the big family gathering. It would be too hard for them to celebrate without him. So for the past couple of months we had been getting used to the idea that we would have to start a new Christmas Eve tradition.
After the funeral (which was 4 days before Christmas) we realized we had to make some decisions as to what to do for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I wanted to just skip everything at first. I didn't care about celebrating. I was sad, worn-out and the last thing I wanted to do was put on a dinner on Christmas Day.
One of my sisters decided to have my mom and my family over for Christmas Eve. (Another sibling was going with her husband's side of the family.) It was certainly more quiet than spending it with over 50 relatives, but it was very nice and enjoyable and hopefully the start of a new tradition.
For Christmas Day I had a change of heart and ended up inviting my mom, my sister and her husband, and my aunts to join my family and the in-laws. This meant that I would be hosting 14 people now. More people, but also more help. They were all able to help me cook and that took a load off of me.
So we had a nice mixing of the two families and we all feasted on spiral ham, corn bread casserole, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, salad, and an array of desserts.
We got my son the Wii for Christmas and young and old had fun playing the sports games. It was a nice distraction.
The day after Christmas, my other sibling had us to her house because her children were down that day to open gifts. We had our grab bag and ordered pizza. So for not wanting to have any Christmas at all, we ended up having 3 days of Christmas! It was good for all of us to be together and just enjoy one another's company.
I concentrated on allowing the love and light of Christmas into my heart and it helped to carry me through the holidays. I thought about my uncle and my dad together again for Christmas Eve in heaven and I imagined that they were being serenaded by a choir of angels along with other relatives who have passed.
All of my life we have spent Christmas Eve with all of my aunts and uncles and cousins on my mom's side. It was a big Italian Christmas Eve with all of the fishes and Italian delights. As the family grew, it was harder to find a house that would fit over 50 of us, but fortunately there were some relatives with big houses who took turns hosting. My uncle kept the tradition going. But he passed away in April and this Christmas his family did not feel up to the big family gathering. It would be too hard for them to celebrate without him. So for the past couple of months we had been getting used to the idea that we would have to start a new Christmas Eve tradition.
After the funeral (which was 4 days before Christmas) we realized we had to make some decisions as to what to do for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I wanted to just skip everything at first. I didn't care about celebrating. I was sad, worn-out and the last thing I wanted to do was put on a dinner on Christmas Day.
One of my sisters decided to have my mom and my family over for Christmas Eve. (Another sibling was going with her husband's side of the family.) It was certainly more quiet than spending it with over 50 relatives, but it was very nice and enjoyable and hopefully the start of a new tradition.
For Christmas Day I had a change of heart and ended up inviting my mom, my sister and her husband, and my aunts to join my family and the in-laws. This meant that I would be hosting 14 people now. More people, but also more help. They were all able to help me cook and that took a load off of me.
So we had a nice mixing of the two families and we all feasted on spiral ham, corn bread casserole, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, salad, and an array of desserts.
We got my son the Wii for Christmas and young and old had fun playing the sports games. It was a nice distraction.
The day after Christmas, my other sibling had us to her house because her children were down that day to open gifts. We had our grab bag and ordered pizza. So for not wanting to have any Christmas at all, we ended up having 3 days of Christmas! It was good for all of us to be together and just enjoy one another's company.
I concentrated on allowing the love and light of Christmas into my heart and it helped to carry me through the holidays. I thought about my uncle and my dad together again for Christmas Eve in heaven and I imagined that they were being serenaded by a choir of angels along with other relatives who have passed.
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4 comments:
Not that it was an easy Christmas, but it flowed better than I expected. Just being together as a united family helped get us all through Christmas.
It's funny how things work out, isn't it? I am happy that you found the right way to celebrate the holiday this year. And you are right, your dad and uncle were together for the day....
Have a good week Lena. Big hugs. :)
I think being with family was the perfect way to spend the holidays. I love the idea of your uncle and dad being together. My hope is that they're happier than they could have imagined. And that you dad is gardening :)
Christmas can be lovely, no matter what. I hope your uncle and dad say hello to my mom, even though she's always said, "I don't need people." Since they are men, she might even say hello back, because she definitely liked men. Not women, though. She disliked "a bunch of clacking women" even more than people in general.
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