It doesn't feel like the holiday season to me yet. The tree is up, but my husband did it all by himself. I have hardly been in any stores yet to shop and have only bought a couple of gifts on-line. I am too busy running back and forth to the hospital, then exhausted when I come home.
Dad's situation is complicated. He has 3 major ailments that are not going to get better and has had periodic medical emergencies. But he then manages to stabilize. We can only take one day at a time. Some days he is great, looking and acting like his old self, other days he looks awfully sick and is struggling. Yesterday he was agitated by all the tests, machines, and being in the hospital. This is the hardest part of us, because we see a man we don't recognize when he becomes so ornery.
We still have questions that are not answered and a plan that we don't feel confident in, so we will be meeting next week with the doctor to discuss what is next.
A couple of days ago, my dad's sister died. She was 91 and lived a long and happy life. He knows she is not well, but no one told him that she declined over the past two weeks and finally passed away. I want to tell him, I hate keeping secrets, but other family members do not want him upset. I think he will get upset, but I think he is too absorbed with his own suffering and he will not dwell on it. But I can't be sure, so I have to go with the majority of the family on this one.
I was able to go to the wake and funeral today. Everyone was asking about my dad, so many had visited him over the past couple of weeks. We are lucky we have a close family that cares so much. It was a nice service today, very comforting and personalized and a nice way to honor my aunt.
This is a difficult time. So many decisions to make and not everyone sees the situation from the same perspective. I muddle through it, trying to educate myself medically and trying to be patient with my family as well as myself.
Dad's situation is complicated. He has 3 major ailments that are not going to get better and has had periodic medical emergencies. But he then manages to stabilize. We can only take one day at a time. Some days he is great, looking and acting like his old self, other days he looks awfully sick and is struggling. Yesterday he was agitated by all the tests, machines, and being in the hospital. This is the hardest part of us, because we see a man we don't recognize when he becomes so ornery.
We still have questions that are not answered and a plan that we don't feel confident in, so we will be meeting next week with the doctor to discuss what is next.
A couple of days ago, my dad's sister died. She was 91 and lived a long and happy life. He knows she is not well, but no one told him that she declined over the past two weeks and finally passed away. I want to tell him, I hate keeping secrets, but other family members do not want him upset. I think he will get upset, but I think he is too absorbed with his own suffering and he will not dwell on it. But I can't be sure, so I have to go with the majority of the family on this one.
I was able to go to the wake and funeral today. Everyone was asking about my dad, so many had visited him over the past couple of weeks. We are lucky we have a close family that cares so much. It was a nice service today, very comforting and personalized and a nice way to honor my aunt.
This is a difficult time. So many decisions to make and not everyone sees the situation from the same perspective. I muddle through it, trying to educate myself medically and trying to be patient with my family as well as myself.
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3 comments:
Oh boy...this must be so hard for you. I have been there somewhat, but neither my mother or father needed long term care or help. When it was their turn, they pretty much went quickly. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, and even just agreeing with one another on how things should be done. I know that you all are doing the very best you can for your dad and I will pray for the family. Hang in. Take the time for small, special moments with him.
Hugs, girl. I'm thinking of you. :)
Oh Lena, I wish I could wave a wand and make everything better for you.
Do what you need to do. Christmas will happen regardless. Take care.
I hope the new year will bring better days for you.
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