So I had my first infusion today. 5 left to go! I was there from 9:30 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. It went pretty well. We learned the drill and met some really great people. I had some issues with hot flashes so they would stop the IV and then let me cool down with same saline solution. They also had to stop once and change to a longer needle in my port because I was feeling heat in the port. But these were minor glitches.
We had cell phone service so I could call my family and keep my mom updated. Mostly I rested and listened to music on my iPod. My husband stayed next to me and read the paper and his nook, and we had lunch together.
I saw a lady with a really cute hat and I asked her where she got it. Come to find out I had the catalog with me that she ordered from. So I sat with her and she showed me all the things she had ordered and loved and some stuff that was not so hot. It was so nice to have some assistance with that type of thing. So much to chose from!
Although it was a long day I had scheduled to go to the hospital's Art Therapy class tonight. So after kemo we went home and my husband cooked dinner and then drove me back to the hospital for a 6:00 P.M. class.
I am on steroids and they are reeving me up! I have a lot of energy and was so excited to go to the class. One more day of the steroids and then the nurse said I will crash. Oh well!
I love art, but I was never good at it in school, so always backed away from it, but it is something that I thought would be a good creative out lit for me during this recovery period that would be different than my Saturday morning therapy and the mind/body work. (Sometime I will post about that but it hasn't felt right just yet.)
I have a two fold story about the Art class. First my picture. I can't draw for crap. So we were supposed to set an intention for what we wanted to get out of the class. I said I was interested in art therapy because I had a weekend with an art therapist in Graduate school and I realized how much I enjoyed the activities and I learned a lot about my self. In hind sight I saw that art classes from my public school days did nothing but stifle any artistic ability I may have had!
So I just picked up my brush and started painting colors. I just let my intuition pick out the colors. When I was finished I remembered that a long time ago I learned about colors. Purple is the spirit center, yellow heart center, Red for courage, Black - I used it as despair tonight, but I am not sure that is what I learned about it. I am looking high and low for my notes, but can't find them. This class was 26 years ago. LOL>
Anyways, when it was my turn to share, I said that I realized that I made the colors of the different centers that I have been moving through since my diagnosis. I explained what each color meant. I decided that since my portions were just about the same, (it doesn't quite look like that in the photo, but I think that was due to the angle) that I had been spending just about an equal amount of time in each one, not stuck in any one in particular center. So I was OK with my picture. The other patient and the social worker thought I was making the German Flag! LOL!! I had no idea what the colors of the German flag were!
During the art work time we shared a lot of feelings about the diagnosis, taking care of ourselves, and other things going on in our lives. It was a nice intimate setting and I know I will enjoy going there and will work on not being so self conscious about my art skills. I told the art therapist that I love words and quotes and visual art work and she said she would work on getting some of those type of projects for us to do!
So that was the work at the class, but there was something much more profound that happened during that class.
I was surprised that there was only one other patient there, they told me that they had another member but she passed away a couple of weeks ago. They were speaking so highly of her and missed her so much. Come to find out I realized they were talking about a woman who was the mother of my son's friend. I never met her, but had been praying for her because my son would come home and talk about his friend A. and how hard it was for her with a dying mother. It broke my heart and then a few months later, I was diagnosed. I know that scared my son because A. mom had breast cancer as well.
I also told them how A. had asked my son if my husband would play a favorite song in her mom's memory on his radio show and my husband did a beautiful set of songs for her and the whole family (aunts, uncles, cousins) sat around the radio to listen to my husband's show. The dad told my son that it was beautiful and it helped them to get ready for the upcoming services. While I was telling them the story of A. and my son, and my husband and the music. We all had healing chills up and down our spines. The art therapist turned to me and said that it was meant to be that I was joining the group. I felt the same way. It is a small world and we are connected to others in ways we don't really know.
My day started with a dozen white roses from my husband. When I got home there was a beautiful flower arrangement waiting for me on the front stoop from my son and his girlfriend in RI.
It has been a long day, a day that I have been dreading, but there were so many great moments today. Moments of inspiration, love, connection, and feelings... a whole hell of a lot of them! It was a good day. I met some new wonderful people. I found a new place to belong.
It's all good.
We had cell phone service so I could call my family and keep my mom updated. Mostly I rested and listened to music on my iPod. My husband stayed next to me and read the paper and his nook, and we had lunch together.
I saw a lady with a really cute hat and I asked her where she got it. Come to find out I had the catalog with me that she ordered from. So I sat with her and she showed me all the things she had ordered and loved and some stuff that was not so hot. It was so nice to have some assistance with that type of thing. So much to chose from!
Although it was a long day I had scheduled to go to the hospital's Art Therapy class tonight. So after kemo we went home and my husband cooked dinner and then drove me back to the hospital for a 6:00 P.M. class.
I am on steroids and they are reeving me up! I have a lot of energy and was so excited to go to the class. One more day of the steroids and then the nurse said I will crash. Oh well!
I love art, but I was never good at it in school, so always backed away from it, but it is something that I thought would be a good creative out lit for me during this recovery period that would be different than my Saturday morning therapy and the mind/body work. (Sometime I will post about that but it hasn't felt right just yet.)
I have a two fold story about the Art class. First my picture. I can't draw for crap. So we were supposed to set an intention for what we wanted to get out of the class. I said I was interested in art therapy because I had a weekend with an art therapist in Graduate school and I realized how much I enjoyed the activities and I learned a lot about my self. In hind sight I saw that art classes from my public school days did nothing but stifle any artistic ability I may have had!
So I just picked up my brush and started painting colors. I just let my intuition pick out the colors. When I was finished I remembered that a long time ago I learned about colors. Purple is the spirit center, yellow heart center, Red for courage, Black - I used it as despair tonight, but I am not sure that is what I learned about it. I am looking high and low for my notes, but can't find them. This class was 26 years ago. LOL>
Anyways, when it was my turn to share, I said that I realized that I made the colors of the different centers that I have been moving through since my diagnosis. I explained what each color meant. I decided that since my portions were just about the same, (it doesn't quite look like that in the photo, but I think that was due to the angle) that I had been spending just about an equal amount of time in each one, not stuck in any one in particular center. So I was OK with my picture. The other patient and the social worker thought I was making the German Flag! LOL!! I had no idea what the colors of the German flag were!
During the art work time we shared a lot of feelings about the diagnosis, taking care of ourselves, and other things going on in our lives. It was a nice intimate setting and I know I will enjoy going there and will work on not being so self conscious about my art skills. I told the art therapist that I love words and quotes and visual art work and she said she would work on getting some of those type of projects for us to do!
So that was the work at the class, but there was something much more profound that happened during that class.
I was surprised that there was only one other patient there, they told me that they had another member but she passed away a couple of weeks ago. They were speaking so highly of her and missed her so much. Come to find out I realized they were talking about a woman who was the mother of my son's friend. I never met her, but had been praying for her because my son would come home and talk about his friend A. and how hard it was for her with a dying mother. It broke my heart and then a few months later, I was diagnosed. I know that scared my son because A. mom had breast cancer as well.
I also told them how A. had asked my son if my husband would play a favorite song in her mom's memory on his radio show and my husband did a beautiful set of songs for her and the whole family (aunts, uncles, cousins) sat around the radio to listen to my husband's show. The dad told my son that it was beautiful and it helped them to get ready for the upcoming services. While I was telling them the story of A. and my son, and my husband and the music. We all had healing chills up and down our spines. The art therapist turned to me and said that it was meant to be that I was joining the group. I felt the same way. It is a small world and we are connected to others in ways we don't really know.
My day started with a dozen white roses from my husband. When I got home there was a beautiful flower arrangement waiting for me on the front stoop from my son and his girlfriend in RI.
It has been a long day, a day that I have been dreading, but there were so many great moments today. Moments of inspiration, love, connection, and feelings... a whole hell of a lot of them! It was a good day. I met some new wonderful people. I found a new place to belong.
It's all good.
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3 comments:
I'm happy today was a positive day for you! I wish you well!
Look at you ---finding good right-smack-in-the-middle of all the bad. Way to go, girl! Biggest hugs be with you. I hope you feel wonderful today!
The German flag! So funny!
I keep thinking these days about an older woman who would pass through our neighborhood on her daily walks. My best friend and I were 7 years old. She had had a mastectomy, which in those days was something that was only whispered about. She was a great mystery to us and looked so isolated and alone. I thank God that nowadays those suffering from various diseases form support groups and bear each other's burdens. All the kind words from people not similarly suffering are all well and good, but words from someone who's also "there" must be of real comfort.
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