All of my aunts and uncles are in their upper 80's now. All are dealing with the Golden Years and finding out that well... they are not so golden. They hurt from all kinds of joint pains, and suffer all kinds of medical issues, because "the body is not built to last that long" as my acupuncturist says.
I brought my dad to visit is 89 year old sister today who is suffering the after affects of a stroke. While she could not hold a reciprocal conversation nor say our names, it was evident by her smile that she knew who we were. I saw my dad swallow his tears at seeing his sister so incapacitated, so he began telling her great grandchild all about how strong she used to be and how she picked beans on the farm. He broke out into a huge smile thinking about those long ago days.
My dad hasn't ventured out too much these past few years, but he pushed himself to visit his sister and felt good that he was able to.
Getting older isn't what I expected it would be. I never thought that I would give it a thought and I could accept it and not look back. But it sneaks up on you and starts to put a damper on the little things in your life, even if you are relatively healthy. Now when our friends get together, there is a lot of talk about health and medical issues and lots of laughing over how forgetful we are all getting and how much harder it is to get up off the couch.
The best part is that we are all in this together and we can support one another and figure out most of the stuff we are worried about is normal!
So here I am a baby boomer in the sandwich generation. Trying to do what I can to help my parents in their "Golden Years", and nurturing and lending my hand to our young adult children when needed.
It is all good.
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One Good Christmas
12 years ago
4 comments:
As long as we can laugh, we'll do fine.
I agree, this is a bittersweet time of life. As our emerging adult children find their way in the world and our aging parents deal with their challenges, we are in the middle - trying to be supportive of everyone and still find the time to take care of ourselves.
thanks for sharing these feelings.;.
I'm not in sandwich years yet but I felt like sharing about my 95 years old granny... declining quickly then giving up before having a surge of energy again, coming from god knows where... I cherish the hours spent with her simply holding her hand - there was nothing to say, only a need to be present and allow a sense of closure, slow good byes, loving looks, warm smiles.
I am really wondering how much it is "her" decision about when to go - as if it's not about her any longer but rather about the ones staying behind...
Mt father-in-law, the last of the parents, came to our beach house this week for two days. He is 94. The first day he did better than I expected, but on the second day he woke up early and needed to catch the bus home. But there is no bus, and the home he was going to has been gone for forty years. Three hours later he was calmer and reoriented, mostly.
I workout and eat healthy and keep my heart, weight and body fit. I guess I want to live long enough to lose my mind.
It doesn't seem worth it.
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