There have been a few ups and downs this week with my FIL in the hospital. First we got bad news, then no news, and then better news, but still no answers. But he is comfortable and acting more like himself today, so we wait for more tests.
The other night at 10:00 P.M. the Dr. called with news that was not good, but could have waited until the morning. My husband was already in bed asleep and now he was up pacing the house. No matter what kind of news you get, when it is the night time, I think it always feels worse. But my intuition was strongly telling me not to pay too much attention to the doctor. Although he is the Dr. and although I know little about the condition, I did not believe what he was saying made sense. I told my husband that I had a feeling things would change. And they did, the absolute next day my FIL was a different man. The treatment was working even though the doctor said his condition was irreversible.
I don’t mean to be disrespectful to doctors, but sometimes they are mistaken, and I have learned to trust my gut more when it comes to these things. Everyone is different and the unexpected can occur.
Work has been stressful. I am the type of person that people come to and “vent to”. One of the reasons they come to me is that they know they can trust me. What they tell me stays with me. We are in the middle of a crisis at work and I have so many people coming to me “to vent” that I am getting very weary from it all. And I have to be so careful about who is telling me what and knowing how to balance it all. Everyone walks out of my office and thanks me for listening to them and then tells me to send them a bill, even the boss.
Well I am taking vacation time next week and I am glad to say that I will be happy being away from it all. I feel selfish about my time off. I know I should be spending time with each of my elderly family members, but I am feeling like I want to hide away and not tell any of them that I am home for the week. It is Friday night and I am so tired, but I know that with a couple of days rest I will be recharged and hopefully be able to help out here and there and still manage some time for myself!
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3 comments:
You are a wonderful person. To be a sounding board is not easy. You deserve time off. And never be afraid to tell people you'd feel more comfortable if they didn't share things with you. Your sanity comes first.
I hear you about the doctors. I have heard more cockamamie ideas about diagnoses, then you could imagine. I'm still praying your FIL will improve to full health.
Enjoy your "you" time. You deserve it.
Hugs.
Kelly,
Thanks. I agree with you and when
people cross the boundary I do tell them I feel uncomfortable and that does stop them.
I also tell people to try to do what I do. I act as if I have blinders on and focus on what I am supposed to be doing and not take on what is not my responsibility. It is hard to do that, but it does help to keep my sanity.
I don't think there are too many work places without drama... although I would like to find one..lol.
Enjoy your time off. It's for you, and you deserve it.
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